Positively Therapeutic

I’m starting to feel human again, and it comes down to two things that happened this weekend:

  1. I painted my fingers and toes a happy bright color
  2. I rode for the first time in a week and a half

It was amazing. Instead of a bulky lump of a dry-skinned icicle, I’m a happy human! I even put mascara on this morning and that’s a rarity. This return of myself was so necessary.

I’ve dealt with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) for quite a few years, and I’ve learned a lot about how to handle it. But this year something changed, and instead of being gloomy and tired all the time as I usually am in the winter, it’s been more about the anxiety. As in, hyperventilating while brushing my teeth because everything is overwhelming and can I please just never get out of bed? Anyways. This isn’t a post about that (though I’m thinking I’ll write that soon), just a little background on my mental state these days.

Last week was super tough and I don’t think my pulse slowed below 100 bpm. I was so keyed up about everything- I thought I was doing really poorly at work, finding a parking spot at the grocery store was impossible, doing household chores seemed exhausting and pointless, I felt really sick (though it wasn’t the flu, strep, or mono. I’m thinking it was all in my head), and I didn’t get to ride at all.

I made a decision: I’m not going to let the cold get me down. I want to feel like myself again. I told manfriend, and he was enthusiastically on board.

So Saturday morning, I went to work on myself: I used a face mask, I actually shaved my legs, I used body lotion, I painted my toes and I painted my fingers, and generally pampered myself. All while manfriend made us bacon-chocolate chip waffles with bourbon maple syrup (yes, I know I’m totally spoiled, and yes, I promise to share the recipe very soon. They were ridiculously good).

They’re so bright and happy!

Never underestimate the good feelings that can come from a little bit of paint on your extremities. Every time I look down I get that sweet pop of color and it instantly boosts my mood, and I just feel more put together. I’m not obsessive about having my nails done at all times but I can’t deny that it adds a certain polish (pun intended)! If you remember, one of my New Year’s Resolutions was to stop biting my nails, so that was another boost- I’m sticking to that way better than I thought I would!

Moving on.

I got to ride. Thank you Lord, I got to ride.

I’ve said before that riding is my therapy and this has never been more true than it was yesterday.

It was like I walked into the barn and a switch flipped in my brain. I had been nervous about hopping on because Addy has had a break from riding and very little turnout lately. But I walked in there, breathed deep, patted some soft noses, and instantly relaxed. I like to think Addy was happy to see me because I was absolutely thrilled to see her.

I decided to lunge her for a bit just to see how she was feeling- I wanted to warm her up in case she was stiff from stall rest, and I wanted to let her get out excess energy if she had that going on. She humored me for a few circles in each direction before coming in to me and telling me to hop on.

I know, terrible groundwork manners, but you try resisting that sweet face!

She was a rockstar. Not even a hint of sass, responsive to my aids, not caring about the snow falling off the roof. Have I mentioned how much I adore this mare? She walks out of her stall after a week of nothing and goes around perfectly.

It wasn’t a long ride since we’re both a little out of shape but it did the trick. She was happy to be working again and I was ecstatic to be back on her.

I swear she was happy too, just disappointed that the phone wasn’t a carrot.

The combo of feeling pretty again and spending time with my girl had a ripple effect across my whole weekend. I met up with friends at a super cool bar near my house, I did a tasting at a local winery with other friends, and I got coffee with Owner Lady (a.k.a. we had a meeting of Addy’s Fan Club). Just last weekend all of this would have overwhelmed me, but my change in attitude made it more than just manageable, it made it incredible.

This weekend, painting my nails and getting horse time was my therapy.

How do you pep yourself up when the cold and dark has you down? What’s your “unconventional” therapy?

21 thoughts on “Positively Therapeutic

  1. nbohl 02/23/2015 / 11:04 am

    Similar to what you do- get a mani/pedi or massage, take a long bubble bath, use my favorite lotions. Basically just spoil myself.


      • nbohl 02/23/2015 / 11:06 am

        When I bought my house a massive jacuzzi tub was on my MUST-HAVE list πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Lauren 02/23/2015 / 11:20 am

    I would be really interested in reading a post about SAD/anxiety because I have a lot of the same feelings. The nail polish trick works wonders though… I need to do that!


    • hellomylivia 02/23/2015 / 11:51 am

      I’ll definitely put a post together on that- I feel like so many people struggle with this type of thing and yet it isn’t talked about a whole lot.


  3. FromtheHorsesMouth 02/23/2015 / 11:26 am

    Sounds like such a good weekend! Jealous of your ride…maybe one day I will be back int he saddle.
    Love that nail color! I need to start painting mine but they get destroyed the minute I get to the barn….which is everyday lol.


  4. Karen M 02/23/2015 / 2:02 pm

    Riding does wonders for anxiety! I gave up trying to keep my nails in decent shape, but going for a facial always makes me feel rested and refreshed.


    • hellomylivia 02/23/2015 / 2:13 pm

      Hopping on for 30 minutes absolutely changed my whole outlook on the week ahead! My nails are a constant battle, but I’m with you on the facials. That’s often my birthday present from my momma, it’s so relaxing.


  5. Annye / AnAmishWarmblood 02/23/2015 / 2:13 pm

    I’m so glad you’re feeling better! Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all live in Florida? Texas? San Francisco?

    Every year I get through Christmas and January and think I’ve finally beaten my SAD. Then February seems so hopeless and the disorder hits me like a truck. I really need to start preparing better for it – maybe then I would be less dramatically affected…


    • hellomylivia 02/23/2015 / 2:18 pm

      Manfriend is constantly pushing for a move to Texas and after this past winter I’m feeling more and more amenable to the suggestion…

      I’m usually the total opposite: it hits me like a truck in November and then I’m fine by February. Weirdly it’s been the opposite this year, and it’s only just started to rear its ugly head. I’m taking vit D and using my sunlamp like a madwoman!


      • Annye / AnAmishWarmblood 02/23/2015 / 4:43 pm

        Does he have connections in Texas? Is he serious about moving?! I honestly think I’d like to early retire there. Once I can become a consultant instead of an FTE (read: can work from wherever I want) I am SO there.


      • hellomylivia 02/23/2015 / 4:45 pm

        No connections there for either of us, just a vague sense that we should move to the South! Lots of open land, cheap cost of living, and tons of horses sounds like my paradise. I’ll meet you there πŸ˜‰


      • Annye / AnAmishWarmblood 02/23/2015 / 4:50 pm

        We can have a sun bathing party πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  6. alexandrawheels 02/23/2015 / 5:25 pm

    A brilliant read. Thank-you for sharing and making me realise it’s not just me dealing with these things.
    Loving the nails too!
    Keep going!

    Liked by 1 person

    • hellomylivia 02/23/2015 / 5:34 pm

      I’m so glad you could connect with this! Even when it’s cloudy, the sun always comes back out πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Elinor 02/23/2015 / 10:44 pm

    Your mare sounds like a true gem! Glad you got out and got on her!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s