TRM Blog Hop: Honest Sale Ads

Yay for fun blog hops! I couldn’t help but do this for both Frankie and Addy. Here we go:

Horse #1

For your consideration, we present Frankie, a 10yo 17hh Oldenburg x TB. Sir Francis has spent most of his career as a foxhunter, with a few weeks of eventing training- brave enough to go XC and jump anything in his path, and kinda sorta has heard of dressage if you ask properly!

This kind fellow will forgive literally anything: missed distances, crawling up his neck, jabbing him with spurs, sticking a crop in his ears, and just about any other inhumane torture you can put a horse through. Even after all this, he will come to you in the field for snuggles and smooches.

We’re not sure how high he jumps, because he refuses to actually use his body to clear fences. Has been jumped 3’6″ under saddle with no problem and we thiiiink he can probably go higher because he deer-leaped over that oxer with all 4 legs. Athletic potential out the wazoo if you can convince him to pick his feet up!

Franklin is an easy keeper: good feet, healthy coat, big bushy tail, and loves turnout with his friends. He comes inside with a few new small nicks every day- an excellent opportunity to practice your first aid skills! He’s also not quite sure where his legs are- you’ll have the chance of a lifetime to learn all about the different types of protective boots on the market and WOWEE you’ll get great at polo wraps!!

Clips, loads, bathes, ties, stands, gives kisses, reciprocates back scratches, and has mastered the puppy dog eyes to beg for cookies.

Ready to step into or out of any ring. Suitable for a weenie ammy, brave ammy, junior, tall child, or anyone who knows they’re going to make stupid mistakes and wants a horse to put up with said mistakes.

Asking price: >$100k because this horse is priceless

Horse #2

Next on the block we have Addy aka No Remorse, an 11yo 16.2hh Percheron x TB. This pretty gray mare may look like a weird collage of different horse parts (giant head, short neck, long back, short legs, etc.), but don’t let that fool you! This girl can jump!*

*When she thinks it’s a good idea

This Beastly Creature has perfect ground manners: have your four year old groom her! Let your grandma turn her out! Let your four year old lead your grandma on a bareback pony ride! Have your grandma crawl under her belly and light some Roman Candles! This solid brick of a horse will stand quietly until the sun explodes into a supernova in several billion years.

This horse would be an excellent addition to a lesson program if your goal is to scare the children- let’s be honest, kids these days deserve a little adrenaline rush now and then. She will never actually do anything bad- this horse does not have a spook, bolt, buck, or rear in her EVER- but she will convince the young ones that they cannot stop her. Any attempt to hold her mouth will result in her happily hanging on the bit and continuing on as she pleases.

A great horse to learn jumping on! Bonus: you don’t even need to set up any jumps, she will leap over any pole on the ground! Wowza what a great way to practice jumping without needing to set up those pesky jumps! You’ll also learn to get very sticky- she encourages her rider to keep leg on and a deep seat by periodically ducking out of jumps she has done  before- a helpful  horse that will contribute to your skill development. BONUS: completely auto lead changes. But only if you don’t ask for them. She is a strong independent mare.

Suitable for…we’re not sure exactly. Some days she’s suitable for anyone and will do everything you ask without problem, others she will test the patience of a saint. She’s a bit unpredictable for your everyday-ammy, not athletic enough for a pro, and scares the children with her power and speed. Would excel at any discipline where she can take a good look at the jumps and leave strides out without penalty, with a rider who enjoys going fast and overjumping everything by 2′.

Asking price: depending on the day, either >$100k or we’ll pay you to haul her away.

Thank you Cathryn for this super entertaining blog hop!!