Grabbing Mane

With several lessons under our belt, I’m excited that things are (slowly) starting to come back together for us.

The good news is that the muscle memory is definitely there, and emerges more and more with every ride. The not so good news is that I often don’t have the strength or stamina to enact said muscle memory. But we’re tackling things methodically and it’s getting better every time I get in the saddle.

All I wanted for Mother’s Day was to ride, and I got my wish ❤

Both trainers have been really great about balancing my lack of fitness while still knocking the rust off by focusing on tightening up my position and giving straightforward exercises. I’ve been able to tackle some basic bending lines, some fun serpentines, we’re slowly starting to put the jumps back up, and I’ve been grinning ear to ear the whole time. Thankfully the height is the easiest part of things, since Francisco has a very easy jump to stay with. I’m eager to get less potato-ish so we can start putting the pieces together with technical + height – my eye is still basically there (as much as it ever was, which is not great but at least it’s something) and I like riding on a more open step to a little height.

I mean I don’t look the best I ever have, but I also don’t look the worst. I’ll take that as a win.

One thing I’m particularly grateful for is how fit Frankie is. He came out of the winter having gained a little weight, which I see as a win as he enters his mid-late teens. I’d much rather have him pack on a few pounds than lose any in the cold weather. He feels powerful, forward, eager to do his job, and with his usual good nature he is being very patient and careful with me (literally during one of the serpentine exercises he changed direction to stay under me when I wobbled around a turn. The horse is a saint.). All of the work over the past 6 years has really changed him – it’s crazy how correct muscling has literally made his conformation look different (better).

Frequent naps are the cornerstone of his fitness program

His fitness is fantastic for me as I get back to it. It means he has his own motor so I can focus on a supportive still leg rather than constantly squeezing (the OGs from 2016-2017 know how much pony kicking we used to do), it means he’s very comfortable and powerful enough to jump from a variety of spots when I don’t adjust as quickly as I should, it means he’s happy to collect and add the stride when it’s clear I have no idea what I’m doing. He’s so well educated that he’s easily tattling on me when I ask for something versus when I do nothing. He really came out of his lease even better than he went into it.

As I mentioned previously, I’m currently a bit of a weekend warrior (plus one weekday), so obviously I’m not able to keep up this fitness level on my own. I also very very much want to keep up this fitness level, both for the help it gives me and for the obvious reason that Frankie is healthier for it. The core of this remain his 2x a week pro rides that he’s been getting for years. The trainer I ride with on Mondays now is actually the person who has been giving him these rides for roughly 2-2.5 years now, and it definitely helps our lessons that she knows him so well. She’s the one who installed a really nice trot jump on him and has very patiently focused on correct, adjustable, educated work. She has also said that he’s the only horse that would tempt her to try the jumpers and that he’s good as gold, so clearly she has great taste.

As I mentioned in a previous post, we’ve also added weekly trips to the Equine Fitness Center for the Frankfurter to get his sweat on! I’m really eager to see how this helps with his fitness, his muscling, and overall way of going. It’s under the supervision of our usual vet who has been fantastic for us, and I’m hoping it’s a solid complement to our regimen of training, preventative maintenance, and conditioning. He’s been twice now, and got the following report card the first time:

I have never used a chain on him in 6 years of ownership WHY NOW FRANCOIS

Scary equipment he’s never seen? No problem, walk right on. A wash stall, the same as any wash stall he’s been in a HUNDRED times? NOPE NOPE NOPE. Chilling in a nice paddock with hay and water within sight of his buddies? NO WAY NO WAY. Apparently on his second visit they just had him go first so he always had a buddy within sight and he was fine. Why is every person and animal in my family so extroverted that it becomes a problem for other people.

Cute gym boi

It really is a full time gig trying to ensure that this horse becomes immortal. Worth it.

Overall, I’m beyond thrilled with how things are going. I love this big smelly beast with my whole heart, and getting to bop around with him makes me so so so happy. I’m excited to get off property and do some competing this summer!

Hairy beasts ❤

Ohmygosh OUCH

We are officially back at it!!!

And we’ve really gotten back into it with a bang: I was able to sneak a private lesson on Saturday morning, made a quick jaunt to the barn for a short hack on Sunday, and had my first group lesson in almost two years on Monday evening.

Oh. My. Gosh. Ow. My muscles. I’m making old man noises every time I sit down. Or stand up. Or walk. Or move in any way.

Worth it.

Saturday was a bit chaotic: I was heading to my in-laws directly from the barn, so I had the dog in the trunk, the baby in the carseat, my saddle and stroller in the backseat next to her, and all our overnight gear piled in the front. While we don’t need as much equipment as we did when she was younger, it is tough to travel light with a bebe. Nick was at work, so it was interesting getting everyone and everything wrangled solo. But with much goodwill and patience from Maggie and Lina we got to the barn pretty much on time! I was able to pop Maggie in Frankie’s stall while I rode (which she LOATHED), and my trainer’s daughter kept an eye on Lina and entertained her (which she LOVED).

I have no pics from that lesson due to the aforementioned chaos, so here’s a picture of the little entropy agent terrorizing her grandmother

We kept things fairly simple: some light flat work, a little sitting trot to test the muscles out, some lengthenings and shortenings to get Frankie feeling good. A couple crossrails, some little lines, then a short course to play over some jumps. Nothing over 2’6″, it was all such chump change for Francis. He felt simply incredible. I’ve been so grateful to hop on friends’ horses, but nothing compares to my perfect Frankfurter. He’s in fantastic shape, he looks like a million bucks, he was happy and forward and adjustable and ready to cover up all my mistake. I got stuck on the add step a little while I tried to figure out my eye, but overall I felt like things were starting to come back and every time got a little better. It was a perfect low-key confidence boost of a lesson to officially kick things back off.

Sunday was a treat – since it was Easter, I wasn’t planning on riding. But then Lina went down for her nap, my in-laws offered to keep her entertained if she woke up, and I was able to dash out for a quick ride. It was so fun! Very short and sweet – maybe 15 minutes, trying to work out some of the soreness from the day before – but the weather was perfect and Francisco was his usual happy self. This was also my first time going to the barn without Lina since she was born. As much as I love bringing her along, I gotta say that it was a luxury to have my whole focus on Frankie and take my time grooming him without worrying about her.

My favorite view through my favorite ears

And then my first group lesson on Monday! Nick took Lina and Maggie home while I split off to head to the barn, which was also a first for us. I thought I might make it home for bedtime, but we figured she’d be ok with her daddy even if I wasn’t there.

This was also my first lesson with one of the other trainers working out of our facility – I’ve only really worked with my barn owner/trainer and her former assistant trainer. I really liked her! She was sympathetic to my complete lack of muscle tone, but still gave solid technical feedback. I’ll be riding with her every other week and I think it’ll be a lot of fun. It was also great to ride with some of the other ammies that I haven’t gotten to spend time with in a while. I love having my barn social time back ❤

Big hugs for the Big Man

And because she is a very excellent little girl, Lina went down easy and bedtime was not a problem. I’m super relieved to know that getting to the barn during the week is going to be manageable!

Riding three days in a row may have been the most painful thing I’ve done to myself in a long time, but I don’t regret it for a minute. I’ve been absolutely floating with happiness at getting this time with my boy. I felt like we settled right back into our little routines and interactions, he’s still my goofy lovable creature, he’s still my heart. I’ll be hobbling around happily, constantly glancing at the calendar to see when I get to ride next.

PS – I’m on a bit of a hunt for show clothes if anyone is looking to offload. My body is a completely different size and shape than it was pre-baby, and while I expect things will shift more as I get back in the saddle, I don’t want to pressure myself into getting back completely in my old clothes. If anyone has a show coat in a size similar to a Grand Prix 12 or 14, show shirts in a S or M, or tan mid-rise breeches in a 28 or 30, hit me up!

Our Upcoming Reunion

We’re just inches away from our official reunion, and it’s starting to hit me that I’ll get to have my Francisco back. I’m all sorts of emotions: a little nervous about figuring out the balance with riding and Lina and work, gratitude for the MANY people coordinating to help make this work, and primarily excitement to have time with my boy again. And that excitement just keeps building as the day comes closer and closer and it feels more real.

This really is such a team effort for me to be able to do this. My husband is taking Lina for bedtime on the days I go to the barn during the week, which is a huge huge thing. Lina has never taken a bottle and we’ve always done bedtime together, so his willingness to figure it out is a major undertaking. This will also be on the days that he has her all day while I’m working, so those will be her Daddy Days from sunup to sundown. I know you all have heard me say nice things about my dude plenty of times over the years, but I’ve got to add this: he’s a rockstar dad and an amazing co-parent. It’s amazing to see.

My all time faves

I’m also having to coordinate someone to watch Lina on the days I go to the barn with her on the weekends, and my barn family has been wonderful. My trainer’s daughter is keeping an eye on her this weekend so I can take a quick lesson, several of the junior riders have offered to keep an eye on her, and one even told me that when she gets her license next week she’ll come out whenever I need her. The amateurs and barn moms have all offered to keep her entertained. I don’t know how I got so lucky with this community, but I sure am grateful.

As always, my trainer has just been the best. As we’ve approached the official reunion day, I’ve been texting her about lots of details: making sure the vet and farrier know to bill me, transferring his Smartpaks back to my account, setting up lessons and shows and training rides and fitness center visits, planning his maintenance for the year, a million other things. She’s literally already taken care of 90% of it, and set it up so I can easily do the other 10%. When I mentioned I needed someone to keep an eye on Lina during my lesson, she offered her daughter’s help (which is WILD because I’ve known her since she was teeny tiny and now she’s so grown up!!). Every concern or barrier I’ve seen, she’s worked with me to figure it out. Eight years into my time with her, I still have the utmost respect and appreciation for everything she does.

An older pic, but one I absolutely love. Knowing that she’s a card-carrying member of the Francis Fan Club means I know he’s in the best of hands

And now that all these different logistics are under control, that excitement is just building and building. I can’t wait to get my snuffly snuggles when I rub his ears. I can’t wait to let him slurp from the hose this summer. I can’t wait to catch him snoring in his stall when we go show. I can’t wait to love on him and groom him and play with him. I can’t wait for our bridling routine, where he looks around and then comes in for a hug before shoving his face into the bridle. I can’t wait for our little routine of picking feet, where I tap him and say “foot please” and then “thank you” when he obliges. All those little moments and little patterns we’ve had over the years.

From that very first month of ownership back in 2016, we’ve always had our snuggles

I also can’t wait to get that part of myself back. I’ve happily thrown myself into this new chapter of life, but riding and spending time at the barn has been so hugely important to me for so long, and it’s a part of me I’m eager to recapture. I can’t wait to share this with my daughter and show her all the amazing things that come with spending time around horses. I can’t wait to set the example of finding something you love and finding a way to make it work. I can’t wait to see her love of animals and spending time outside grow. For so many reasons, I’m so excited for Lina to come with me and be a part of everything.

We’re gonna have to get this kid a pony before she tries to ride the dog

And of course: I can’t wait to bring you all along for the ride too 🙂

Equestrians Make Better Moms: Part 2

What can I say, I think about this stuff a lot. My brain used to be 90% Frankie, 10% everything else. Now it’s 90% Frankie, 80% Maggie, 100% baby, and still 10% everything else. It’s chaos up there, don’t try to make the numbers add up. But as I continue to muse during my nighttime feedings, I keep coming up with more ways my experience with Francisco has helped me with parenting skills.

Though to be fair, I’ve never had any trouble getting this one down for a nap

We make the right choice the easy choice. When I want Frankie to move a certain way, I make sure my body language is staying supportive and out of the way. I do my best to not present the opportunity to try the wrong choice (which works for him, because he’s not particularly inventive). We’re approaching childproofing in the same way: if I don’t want Lina to climb on the bar cart, I simply put a chair in front of it. She doesn’t really get a choice between the right choice and the wrong one, she simply gets pointed at the behavior we want and we remove (as much as possible) the other options. This is a work in progress – tricky little kiddo is a LOT more inventive than Frankie, so we’re getting a lot more creative.

MVP award goes out to Maggie, who has steadfastly refused to be childproofed and parks herself near her child at every opportunity.

There are lots of right ways to do something, and very few wrong ways. Seriously, there’s a hundred and one ways to approach eating, sleeping, playing, learning, EVERYTHING with a horse. And a kid. And lots of those ways work just fine. Horses and kids tend to be more resilient than we give them credit for, and it’s just not worth stressing over finding the one singular right way.

In a similar vein: all things being equal, there may be a “best” option. But all things are not ever equal. How many people have said that every single horse should be able to go in a rubber snaffle and no spurs? Like yeah, I agree, how awesome would that be. But there are lots of other factors that worm their way in there that make one single best option not the right option for everyone all the time. Same thing with breastfeeding vs formula, sleep training vs not, Montessori based toys vs other types. No two kids are the same, no two families are the same, and the best for one is not going to be the best for another.

Everyone and their mother will have an opinion. And everyone and their mother will take it at least a little personally if you do not share the same opinion. Enough said.

Got my first Instagram hate mail from someone telling me I was negligent for letting her crawl on the dirty floor at the airport. I was tempted to invite the sender to come hold her for 4 hours straight. This kid has sat in horse manure-flavored dirt, I am not worried about some floors.

Some things just take time, but it does get better. I was recently reviewing old blog posts from when I brought Francis home. There were so many things we had to work on and some of that took years to solidify. I’ve seen the same as Lina grows – a lot of the knots we had to figure out how to untie at the beginning just took time. As we approach a year old, we know each other so much better and she’s a total blast.

I’m sure as I get back in the saddle I’ll keep thinking of more parallels. It’s been really interesting to bring a lot of my riding philosophies into my parenting philosophies, and I’m sure it’ll bleed back the other way too.

Mama’s Back

Oh hayyyyy!!!

Frankie officially comes off lease and back to me in about a week and a half, and ya girl is beyond excited. It’s been almost 18 months of inconsistent barn time, and it’s going to do my soul so much good to have regular outings with my most favoritest Frankfurter.

We stopped by for a quick hello on our way home from brunch recently, NOT THAT HE CARED. I rank a distant second to food.

Originally the plan was for Frankie to stay on lease until the end of May, but his leasers found a super adorable (obviously bay) gelding to buy and gave me the option of taking back Francis earlier. I told my husband that I had to run some numbers since I hadn’t financially planned to have him back on the payroll quite yet, and his wise response was: “When have the numbers ever mattered when it comes to Frankie?” Touche, Nicholas, touche. The only obvious answer was to say yes, I’ll take him back, let’s pick a date, omg thank you.

I’d like to take a quick minute to rave about just how wonderful Frankie’s leasers have been over the past year and a half. They have loved and cared for Francis as their own, they’ve done everything in their power to keep him fit and healthy and happy, they’ve shared frequent updates, and they have adored my boy the way he loves to be adored. His kiddo has progressed leaps and bounds with him, and I’m so excited to see what she tackles with her new mount! I could not be more grateful for the peace of mind they’ve given me in this new season of life, knowing that I could focus on figuring out the cadences of our new addition without worrying about how Frankie was faring. They will forever be part of the Francis Fan Club and part of the family.

Getting ready to take Frankie back has come with quite a bit of logistical set up to prepare. From the small (getting him a new halter since my old one kicked the bucket), to the fun (we have shows on the calendar!), to the complicated (planning a lesson schedule around the baby and my husband’s rotating work schedule), to the interesting (signing Frankie up for outings to the nearby equine rehab facility – more details on that to come!). I’ve already had to call on my support network to help navigate everything, and everyone has been enormously helpful.

This guy is not just passively ok with me going to the barn, but has been proactively encouraging and helping me figure out how to make it work. I’ll never take that for granted.

The first hurdle we’ve tackled is getting a lesson schedule worked out. Back in the day, I used to simply text my trainer: “can i hop in the 6p lesson or nah” and that was that. But those were also the days that I was there 6 days a week, so I had the luxury of hopping in wherever it worked. I could show up last minute for a quick 30 min private at 7a before the day really started. I could hack around and then join in the jumping portion of a lesson. But my trainer’s lesson program has grown leaps and bounds and that has come with a need for more consistent scheduling, and with a baby in tow I need the consistency too! The current plan is for me to lesson once a week on either Mondays or Wednesdays (with my husband’s rotating schedule, I need to ride on a day he’s home to be with Lina), get out there on the weekends, and take any other days as a bonus. As Lina gets older, I hope we can bump that up, but for now I’m excited for my three days a week!

If you’ve been following along for any length of time, you know that 3 days a week is not nearly enough to keep Tubbo Boy fit. If you’re new here, I’ll summarize it by saying that Frankie loses fitness the way I gain weight by looking at a doughnut post-baby. Real fast. So we have a super interesting plan for keeping him fit and ready for me: he will get his 2x a week pro rides, which is the schedule he’s been on for the past 3-4 years. With me being so out of shape and inevitably rusty, these will be majorly helpful in keeping him fit and undoing all the un-training I’m sure I’ll be doing. I poured all my sweat (and $$$) into training him over the past years for exactly this purpose – now it’s his turn to be better schooled than me. Here comes the fun part: we’re adding in a day each week for him to ship over to the nearby Nova Equine Fitness Center! I’ll plan to do a full post on this facility soon, but the short version is that our vet has opened a full service fitness and rehab center in our area, and it is incredible. We went for a tour recently, and the thought and consideration but into every single part of the facility is astounding. Frankie will be going to take advantage of the infrared solarium, 3D vibration plate, and water treadmill. I’m so eager to see how he likes it, and will definitely keep you all posted!

Cute gray pony giving us a demo of the water treadmill, featuring me and the peanut in matching outfits. Thankfully this kid loves the barn and watching the pretty ponies.

I’m at the point in our journey where I’d love to be the one doing all the work with Frankie (because he’s so dang fun), but it’s just not realistic with my other commitments. It’s going to make it that much more fun for me to enjoy our few rides a week together knowing that he’s staying fit and ready for whatever shenanigans I throw his way.

The last exciting update is our show schedule – we have three on the calendar! Upperville is hosting a fun little local show on the showgrounds the Sunday before Upperville proper kicks off, so Francis and I will head to that to do two 0.9-0.95m classes and knock the rust off. It’ll be a nice low-stress way to get back in the ring on my favorite showgrounds. We’re then planning to do the 1m Low Adults at Loudoun Benefit. Originally I was super excited to do the Lows at Upperville, but those run Tues-Thurs and Loudoun runs Fri-Sun. I just started a new job this month (back to full time work!) and taking one day off instead of 3-4 was just much more palatable. Don’t worry, Lina will still get to do her Upperville leadline debut! The last one on the calendar (for now) is GLEF over in Michigan in July. Lina and my husband are coming along for us to have a fabulous two week horse show/vacation, and I can’t wait.

Last time we went to Loudoun we did the Adult Eq and the Jr/Am Hunter Derby, but this time around we’re sticking in the jumper ring. I’m confident I can grab mane and steer around a course of jumps, I am less confident that I can do all that while looking nice.

I know I had some raised eyebrows from a few friends when I said we were planning on stepping right back into the 1m classes so soon after our break, and maybe I am a bit crazy. I certainly reserve the right to change my mind at any time if things aren’t coming together like I hope they will. But at this point, that height is such a non-issue for Frankie and he’s done it a million times, so if I can just get my eye back then I’m confident we’ll be good to go. Like I said earlier – it’s his turn to be better schooled than me, and now is the time that I’m extra grateful for all the careful solid training we’ve done over the years.

I feel like I could keep writing forever, but I’ll cut it short for now and chime in again soon! I can’t wait to pick back up and share as we navigate this new stage of the journey together.

Journey Back to the Saddle

I am so way overdue for a riding update!

I gotta say, I have so much admiration (and more than a little envy) towards those moms who have a baby and jump right back into riding. I had hoped to be the same, but the combination of difficult physical recovery from surgery, a baby that eats EVERY TWO HOURS LIKE A LITTLE HIPPO, a fluctuating nap schedule, and the need to coordinate childcare have all thrown wrenches into things. Half a year into this whole shebang and I just now feel like I can consistently make it to the barn once a week or so.

But once a week is better than nonce a week (that sounded better in my head) and I’m thrilled to bring Lina along to get some fresh air and enjoy the horses. The kid is fearless: she reaches for the big ponies with both little hands, loves the bumpy gravel in her stroller, and gets a big smile watching people jump around in lessons. We’re pretty sure we have a future eventer on our hands, this girl is ready to go at all times.


I’ve also been so lucky to have friends who let me hop on their animals while Frankie is on lease (an update on that in just a minute!). While my muscle memory seems to be mostly intact, my balance and strength are decidedly lacking, and these horses are patience incarnate as I bounce around up there. Turns out that growing a 10+lb baby completely destroys any semblance of core strength, so that’s definitely a journey to get back. But every ride I feel a little stronger and a little more put together, so things are happening. I even hung on over a crossrail recently for the first time since last December!

We love a sweet bay ❤

I’m really focusing on getting my stamina and strength back before anything else. My first ride was just a lap or two at the trot and a circle at the canter, and now at 7-8 rides in I can comfortably go for closer to 20 minutes (with walk breaks, of course) so I definitely feel the progress. I take Lina for long walks as often as possible to help build some of that back too, and it’s helping. We have a stationary bike in the basement I’d like to get more consistent about using too.

One of the big reasons that I need to get my strength back is that we have a return date for Francisco! His wonderful leasers will be hanging on to him for a couple more months, which is just perfect for all of us. Lina will be a little older and more transportable then so I should be able to get to the barn a bit more easily, my work situation will be a bit more stable by then making it financially easier, and I won’t have to bundle up in the cold as much. I was mentally resigning myself to leasing Frankie back out for another full year, but I’m ecstatic that I’ll get to enjoy him again next summer.

We’re busy making plans for that glorious reunion: it turns out that Upperville is in early June, shortly after I get him back. Y’all know that’s my all time favorite show ever. You may also know that they do now have lower level classes there: the jumpers start at the 1.0m Ch/AA Lows. A height that I last jumped in September 2020. But since I’ve never been known to let little things like common sense stop me, we’re going for it. Frankie will be going at that height with his leaser so he’ll be ready to go, so I am bigtime focused on getting myself in shape to keep up with him! I figure as long as I can comfortably hold on over a full course at any height we’ll be fine – the height has never been a problem for Frankie so if my eye is tuned in and I can grab mane we’ll be good to go.

When I told him this he started to panic

What’s even more exciting is that we’re planning for this to be a mother-daughter show: Lina will be making her leadline debut at Upperville!! My trainer is already putting out feelers for the perfect pony for her, and the rest of us are busy planning perfect outfits for Lina and her entourage (myself and her father). The idea of sharing this with my daughter at my favorite show with my wonderful friends fills me with so so so much joy. I may or may not be planning a world tour appearance at Devon with her too, but we’ll wait and see how we’re feeling.

Did you know Ancona makes tiny sizes? May or may not need to get her a navy coat with red trim.

All in all, some really great stuff happening. I’m beyond grateful for my barn family: those who share their horses, those who entertain Lina while I ride, those who share my excitement to get back in the ring, those who share my even greater excitement to get Lina in the ring, and those who are taking such incredible care of Francis. It’s a great crew with great juju. Can’t wait to share more updates!

Equestrians Make Better Moms

As we’re about six months into parenthood (already?!) I was reflecting lately on how being an equestrian really has been the perfect preparation for having a teeny little human baby.

The only thing better than twinning with my little, is twinning together at the barn

Benefit of the doubt. You know those days when your horse is a spooky/lazy/cranky/disobedient little turd? All the good horsepeople I know approach these days the same: with an assumption that something is bothering their horse, and a goal to figure it out and address it. While our creatures may be cheeky little a-holes sometimes, we know that misbehavior tends to come from a place of discomfort. It’s the same with a baby – she’s not crying because she’s a jerk, she’s crying because she’s hungry/tired/cold/hot/teething/bored/lonely. If I can figure out how to meet that need, fantastic. If I can’t figure it out, we lower our expectations for the day and snuggle instead of trying to tackle new things.

This was a really hard day of teething and fussiness, so we threw out the playbook and just snuggled. The next day she was an angel.

We all have bad days. I know we’ve all heard the saying “it’s a horse, not a robot.” There are certain days that Frankie shows up ready to work, and others where he shows up and says UGH NOT FEELIN IT TODAY MAHM. He’s a living creature with varying moods. It’s the same with Lina – every day is a new day. She’s almost always a happy little creature who loves to adventure, but she isn’t a robot either. When we have a rough day (due to any of the reasons I listed above), we don’t get worked up about it.

Bonus points for twinning with DOUGHNUTS

Trying new things one step at a time. When we started introducing half-passes to Frankie, we didn’t just jump right to it. We established a solid shoulder-in and shoulder-out, haunches-in and haunches-out, leg yielding, etc. We did this all at a walk, and then a trot. By the time I asked for a canter half-pass, he had all the building blocks and it was a non-event for him. As we start introducing food to Lina, I’ve approached it the same way: we spent a while getting used to sitting in her high chair for short durations. Then she sat in it with us while we ate dinner. Then we gave her some tupperware to hold while sitting there. When we finally gave her some food to try, she was comfortable and focused on it, because that was the only novelty at the time.

It helps that she automatically puts EVERYTHING in her mouth

Trusting my instincts. Have you ever sat on your horse and felt like they were off? Maybe a ground person couldn’t see any lameness, but you could just feel it? Maybe you called up your vet, and took precautionary measures, because you are more connected and a bigger advocate for your horse’s wellbeing than anyone else could be. In the same way, I know my baby better than anyone. We are only barely two creatures instead of one. Regardless of what other people say is normal/abnormal/good/bad, I trust my instincts to make the call when things don’t feel right.

Maggie’s instincts say that she should probably stay right next to us at all times just in case she is needed for pets

Having fun through the hard times. Training and competing is such a rollercoaster. You can be flying high one minutes (literally) and eating dirt the next (also extremely literally). There can be a string of lessons where nothing seems to click and your progress seems to be backwards. But you learn to find the little victories and successes to focus on, and keep the bigger picture in mind. That kind of resilience is so necessary when you’re on the steep learning curve of raising a human.

When she started fussing in her stroller but I forgot to back the carrier, we just rigged something out of standing wraps and all was right with the world

Turnout fixes everything. Just like Frankie, Lina is a million times happier when she has plenty of time to move her body freely – either rolling around and kicking on the floor with toys, or even better if we get fresh air. The days she spends a couple hours outside on a walk or at the barn (even in the cold), she’s a completely contented little girl. When in doubt: get outside.

And aren’t we lucky to live somewhere that she can nap like this

While this is a little tongue in cheek, I really do feel like learning and growing with Frankie has given me the patience and perspective to be a better parent. I still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time, but we’re sure having fun figuring it out!

Turning the Page

As this new chapter starts for me, I’m happy to say that a new chapter is starting for Francisco as well.

Thankfully, this new chapter will still include plenty of naps AND plenty of snuggles

In a wonderful turn of events, Frankie has a new kid to love on him for the next year! Starting next week, he will be fully leased out to one of the juniors that rides with my trainer, and is already happily embracing his job as a confidence-boosting packer (though we all know that’s really always been his job).

I’m certainly having a lot of emotions about this: relief that he is remaining in-barn under my trainer’s watchful care, happiness that he’ll get to do a job he really enjoys at a level he finds straightforward, pride that he’s such a good boy that can make this kid happy, excitement to see their growth together, gratitude for the people that worked together to find such a perfect situation to keep Frankie nearby. But also regret that I won’t be the one holding the reins for the next year, and sadness that I’ll be cheering him on from the sidelines instead of waiting for the buzzer go off from his back.

There is no feeling that can compare to the mix of excitement, adrenaline, confidence, and pride I feel walking into the ring on this beautiful boy

But that’s all part of the different chapters, and I can acknowledge the bittersweetness while still embracing this new chapter. This truly is an ideal setup for us for the next year: it takes a financial burden off me and my husband while we adjust to a new lifestyle, while still keeping Frankie where I can stop by and see him whenever I’d like. I’ll still get to groom him and give him tons of smooches, will still get to bring my baby out to meet him as soon as we’re out of the hospital (too soon? nah), and will still feel good knowing that he’s going to be receiving the same wonderful care he’s been thriving under for the past five years.

I’ve always promised Frankie to make the best decisions I possibly can for his care and I’m confident that he’s going to have a wonderful year making this kiddo very happy! He’s more than earned an easy retirement with me when the time comes, but we have many years and many adventures yet before that happens. In the meantime, I am especially grateful that my trainer and whole barn family love Frankie and want to keep him around as much as I do.

The Frankfurter Fan Club is going strong and he knows it

With Frankie officially handed off and me officially out of the saddle, I’m not sure what this blog will look like in the coming months. I certainly plan to keep up with all of you, and hope to share pieces of the adventure. I’ll probably be more active on my other social media in the meantime though, so feel free to connect with me on Instagram at @hellomylivia!

Forever love for my perfect boy

Baby on Board

Classic us: Frankie hamming it up for the camera, Maggie constantly distracted, Nicholas keeping an eye on the giant allergen over his shoulder, and me laughing at my favoritest creatures. Love our little family ❤

The last month or two has been very light on the riding front for me as I’ve started adjusting my schedule and expectations due to the tiny creature currently inhabiting my body. I quickly decided to limit my riding to only Frankie – while friends have offered to let me hop on their wonderful animals, I simply trust Francis the most out of all of them and know him the best.

I’m also only riding when there are other people nearby/in the barn/in the ring. I’ve never hesitated to ride solo before and I’m also very sure that Frankie won’t pull anything silly, but it’s an easy enough restriction to put on us to make sure we’re being safe. Our barn almost always has other boarders or lessons going on so this hasn’t posed a difficulty.

My parents even came down for a weekend visit! Such a treat.

I did spend several weeks only flatting, largely because I felt a bit like death warmed over. The phrase morning sickness is a lie – I was a nauseated goblin most of the day and especially in the evenings. Every ride ended up being play-by-ear; some days I hopped a crossrail but more often I’d flat around and then call it a day. Now that I’m finally feeling a bit better, we’re doing very advanced crossrail courses of 4-6 jumps. Wildly advanced stuff.

While I’m not convinced that Frankie knows what’s going on (sweet boy is not the most observant), he has continued his unbroken streak of being a Very Good Boy. I was joking the other day that he’s clearly already putting in his application for short stirrup pony: he loped around those crossrails happily, offering auto changes and letting me sit there and do nothing.

I’ve never seen another horse with such kindness and sweetness in their expression. He is truly one in a million. PC – Courtney Noel Photography

From my conversations with other friends who have kids, it sounds like everyone takes a step back from riding at different points – some stop early on, others continue flatting but stop jumping, and others keep going with few changes for quite some time. I’m planning to keep riding at this more low-key level as long as my body feels comfortable with it, and I’m endlessly grateful to have my perfect Francisco who I can trust to keep me safe. My saddle time and my barn time overall are so important to me, no matter what other changes are going on.

However, realistically I will need to take a step back at some point, so I am investigating options to ensure Francis still has a job to do when that does happen. I certainly have my preferences for what type of situation I find for him and my trainer is on board with those plans, so fingers crossed that things work out the way I’m hoping. Regardless of what option we pursue I’ll be eager to get back in the saddle with him once the little one is here and I’m feeling recovered. As sappy as it may sound, Frankie has been with me through so many big changes in my adult life already and it feels right that he’s part of this next chapter too.

Forever my perfect happy boy ❤

To my friends with kids: what did you do with your horse(s) when you took a step back? Any tips as we explore different options?