An Equestrian’s Guide to Budgeting

I don’t need to tell you all how predictably unpredictable equine expenses can be. We’ve all encountered the worst-timed vet visit, the even-worse-timed pulled shoe, and the oh-wait-I-wasn’t-ready-to-buy-yet-but-the-perfect-horse-is-available-oops-he’s-mine-now.

With all that in mind, I have a few simple ways to budget for the wonderful world of horses.

• Separate bank account. That’s right, Francis has his own debit card and checkbook. I transfer a set amount into this every month, and all things horse-related get pulled out of this account. It’s enough to cover all monthly expenses, as well as extra for shows and emergencies. It’s great for impulse control- when it’s out, its out.
• Wait, it’s almost out but there’s a show I want to go to. It’s fine, I’ll dip into my other account to fund it.
• OK now I’m short on gas money. It’s fine, I can dip into another different account.
• Wait ok no it’s fine I didn’t need that much for groceries anyways. It’s fine it’s all fine, I like ramen and toast a ton. I just have to make it to next month when my next paycheck comes in.
• What do you mean he needs special shoes now
• And more injections
• Poor thing is probably sore, put him on the list for a massage
• Crap
• No it’s fine it’s totally fine
• Obviously I already sent my entry in for that 5 day A rated show with gold plated stalls and hay made from actual shredded money, it would be rude to back out now IT’LL BE FINE
• You know what yes, I would love to try an eq class. Not a problem, tack on the braider fees.
• I think the chiropractor will get better results if he adds in acupuncture, let’s add that on next time
• Crap
• No really it’s fine it’ll be totally fine money can’t buy happiness who needs it anyways
• And then next month I transfer the same amount and continue with the careful planned out budgeting with great willpower and self-restraint!

The End.

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