Your Perfect Horse

Some of the barn ladies and I were talking about what our “next horse” would be. None of us are currently in the market, but we started sharing what our dream horse would be and how they would be different from our current mounts.

Of course you can probably guess what my answer was: “exactly the same as Frankie but with scope for 1.45m.” Hey, I know what I like.

But then I started thinking about it. If money was absolutely no barrier and I could custom design every single itty bitty little thing, what would I want in my next horse?

To start with, I want a dapple bay. A deep, dark dapple bay. No chrome please, just that beautiful chocolate color- though I wouldn’t complain about a big pretty blaze. At least 17-17.1 and big-bodied. A nice thick neck, sturdy legs, big solid hooves, a kind eye and refined face, big ol’ ears, and a gorgeously full tail. Perfect conformation goes without saying. Mare or gelding is fine, I’m not picky about that. Somewhere in the 8-10 years old range- old enough to know what they’re doing, young enough to have plenty of years to do it.

Bay, 17.1, semi-decent conformation, nice tail, 11yo, healthy. Not too bad so far.

I want Next Horse to be easy to handle on the ground. They must not spook, nip, or sass when being led, no matter where we are or what we are doing. Next Horse will make cute faces for the camera every time. Next Horse (NH) will always stand quietly, ground tie perfectly, and never paw. There will be no girthiness and NH will take the bit happily every time I tack up.

Easy to handle, chill, cute faces: check

NH will get along well with other horses out in the field without getting overly attached. NH will never roughhouse and get scraped from playing, nor will NH ever lose a shoe from playing too hard in the mud. NH is not prone to sunburn, skin funk, sensitivity to flies, fungus, thrush, etc. NH is a model of robust health.

NO CHECK FOR YOU THIS TIME, MISTER I-LOST-THE-SAME-SHOE-4-TIMES-IN-A-MONTH

Under saddle, NH is super broke. There is lovely elastic movement at all gaits with good range of longitudinal adjustability. All lateral work comes easily to NH along with perfectly balanced non-automatic lead changes and counter-canter. In fact, I could probably take NH to a lower level dressage show without embarrassing myself. NH does not spook or get silly, even when it is super cold out.

Perfect? No. But he still gets at least half a check mark for being cute while dealing with me up top.

NH likes to trail ride, including crossing water. In fact, NH likes most things and will do them with little urging. NH is confident with or without other horses around. NH is sensitive to my aids but still forgiving- he doesn’t mind the occasional swinging leg or off-balance sitting trot. There is a great work ethic there- NH likes having a job.

18 million check marks for being forgiving.

NH can also jump a house. I’m thinking 1.45m to be on the safe side. NH will jump anything I point him at- liverpools, triple bars, open water. NH will soar over all of these at max height and width with ease. NH actually finds his own distances to these jumps as well. I can walk into any ring and know that NH will jump every jump without hesitation. NH is forward thinking but will re-balance when asked.

It may not be 1.40m, but he gets lots of check marks for always jumping the jumps no matter what.

So I guess what I said before pretty much still holds. I’d want a Frankie with GP scope. Lucky me for getting my dream horse (or did my dream horse slowly morph into a Frankie? Hmmm…).

He has enough check marks that he gets to stick around 😉

Your turn! What’s your perfectly perfect ideal horse?