Ode to My Trainer

I’ve told you all ad nauseam how much I love my trainer. How she pushes me, teaches me, keeps Frankie fit and healthy. She truly works so hard for her clients and it’s inspiring to see.

But when I take a step back and look at the last few years with her (it’ll be three years next week!), I realized that she’s done so much more than that.

She has believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, and she’s put in time and effort on my behalf countless times when there was pretty much nothing in it for her.

You may remember that I didn’t start out with her as a competitor. I started out as a once-a-week group lesson rider with no horse and no shows on the calendar. Heck, I couldn’t afford a horse or shows at that point. My trainer was making next to no money from having me as a client.

A few months into riding with Trainer

After only two lessons, she went out of her way to arrange a half-lease for me. She didn’t get a commission on that and my payments all went directly to Addy’s owner, but she thought it would be good for the horse and knew I wanted to ride. So she made it happen.

When I eventually scraped together some money for shows, she made sure to let me know when the nearby local ones were happening and rallied other riders to go too, knowing those were the only ones I could afford.

She drove almost 4 hours round-trip in one day so I could afford a rated show

When I said I wanted to buy a horse to go do the 1.0m Adult Jumpers, she told me to dream bigger and found a mount to take me to 1.10m and beyond. Despite the fact that I had never competed over 3′.

Countless times she has sat with me after lessons to talk about how to word a sale ad, common conformation flaws, how course design affects the ride, the nutrient content of our feed, considerations when matching a horse and rider, potential upcoming USEF rule changes and the implications of those, and every other topic under the sun about the equine industry.

She has gone into the warmup ring and rattled, soothed, riled, encouraged me by turns, somehow always knowing what will get me into the ring feeling my best. She knows when to say, “not bad, but wait with your shoulders,” and when to say, “GET MAD AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.” She never fails to send me in with a pat and a “go have fun!”

And she has fantastic taste in hunt coats

And a few weeks ago at Finals, as I was managing my second warmup of the morning and trying to overcome some mental hurdles, she pulled me in for a rare quiet moment. She looked me square in the eye and said:

“You deserve to be here. Don’t think for one second that you don’t. You have just as much of a chance to go lay this down as any other rider here. You’ve earned your spot in this competition.”

Somehow, without me ever verbalizing (and without me fully realizing it myself), she understood those insidious feelings of inadequacy that we all face every so often. She confronted them head on and gave me her confidence when she knew my own was low.

Of course I’m happy with my trainer from a “checkbox” perspective: my horse is healthy and happy, we are progressing steadily and safely, and we are continuously adding new skills to the toolbox. But she has my loyalty for so much more than that.

She has taken me from this…
…to this.

I’m one of my trainer’s more involved clients now: I board my horse with her, I utilize her training services in addition to my own lessons, I compete at the big shows regularly. But I’ll never forget that she’s been going to bat for me and believing in my dreams since I was just another lesson kid.

14 thoughts on “Ode to My Trainer

  1. Centered in the Saddle 09/19/2017 / 9:18 am

    Love this. Love love love. These kinds of trainers are actually priceless (despite the loads of money we give them). I feel this way about my current trainer, too – and the other adult ammys and I joke that if she ever moves away, we’re all moving!


    • hellomylivia 09/20/2017 / 12:53 pm

      Oh lord if my trainer ever decided to go somewhere else she would have to deal with me following her IMMEDIATELY haha

      Liked by 1 person

  2. CallyJumps 09/19/2017 / 10:08 am

    Glad to hear you also get the “do something different!” direction LOL You have made so much progress, I can’t wait to see where you and Frankie go!


  3. Bette 09/19/2017 / 10:29 am

    My trainer growing up was this way 🙂 I credit her with being the rider I am today and if I lived closer to her I’d still be riding with her! But I do have a trainer now that I love equally so it all works out!!! Love hearing that there are trainers out there like yours that are in the game for more than just the money, when they care about the students it really shows!!!!


    • hellomylivia 09/20/2017 / 12:54 pm

      There are so many horror stories about professionals in the equine industry being super mercenary and cut-throat, I’m so glad I have a trainer who is in it for her students!


  4. Stacie Seidman 09/19/2017 / 10:30 am

    Isn’t it funny how the universe works? Who knew three years ago that you would just happen to stumble across the most perfect trainer for you?
    I spent the majority of my years learning from not the right trainer for me. I didn’t know any better though, and couldn’t really leave due to lack of anything much better where I lived. Thankfully now, I have a really great person standing by the jumps to help me and believe in me. It makes all the difference in the world.


    • hellomylivia 09/20/2017 / 12:55 pm

      It’s still so crazy to me that I found her on a random google search. The universe works in mysterious ways. So glad that you have a good person in your corner!


  5. Karley 09/20/2017 / 6:02 am

    I bet she would love to read this!!

    Having the right person in your court is vital!! What an awesome tribute to your trainer!!


    • hellomylivia 09/20/2017 / 12:57 pm

      omg she is a super straightforward non-mushy person and has to put up with me being a giant squishy ball of emotions all the time haha


  6. Boss Mare Eventing 09/20/2017 / 12:34 pm

    What an amazing coach!


  7. Tracy - Fly On Over 09/24/2017 / 8:53 am

    It’s amazing the relationship you build with the right trainer… and how when you step back, you realize how selfless they truly are.


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