What Brings You Here?

Out of curiosity, I decided to pull together all the search terms that WordPress tells me drives my traffic. And guys, I think you may be barking up the wrong tree.

wrong tree
You have options and you’ve chosen the wrong one.

We have the basic hellomylivia search- along with some interesting spelling choices like hellimylivia and helllomylivia. I was even flattered to see olivia addy horse blog. It was probably my aunt looking for me or something, but I can pretend it’s because I’m famous.

And then we have searches that lead to my header quote: I wasn’t born in a barn but I got here as fast as I could. And my favorite misspelling: I wasnt born in a barn but I get thete as much as. I don’t know why I find this so funny.

So far, so good. This all makes sense.

Next, we move into the horse-related search terms:

a gelding is everyones friend but a.mate
boots breeches
mares vs geldings
mountain horse.sovereign.field.boot
calf deep mud boots (I understand the need)
gelding lover 1 (this gives me the sense of a really weird chat room name)
horseshoe buckles just keepers
what does a horse trainer say (usually “more leg,” but I’m sure they say other things too)
wiggle right hand and left leg to move righ leg yield (seems about right, glad I could confirm)

Still in good shape! A little bizarre at times, but I can track it.

And then we get into some non-horse related searches:

ambidextrous muscle balance
blame and redemption (this has a very Russian lit feel to it. I feel serious now)
make happy on job
otter instagram (aka my favorite type of instagram)
the fun twice 2 lesson 23 (what does this mean?! Is it a code??? I’M CONCERNED)
sa braidings
when someone responds to you saying kindness
why things don’t scare me anymore
wisdom snippets 01 (yes, I am an endless source of wisdom)

And here’s the part where I have to apologize. Remember how I call Addy Pretty Girl??? And remember how last summer I talked about my pit stains a lot? (Get ready for the pit stains to make a comeback- I’m still an oversharer)

Apparently this is bringing some people that are NOT expecting to read about my horseback riding lessons.

party pics pit stains
photo dump sites girls
pit stains girls
pretty girl photos
pretty girl pics
pretty girls from behind pics dump

To those of you who expected more nudity here: I am deeply sorry. We just don’t run that kind of establishment.

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22 thoughts on “What Brings You Here?

  1. Karen M 06/28/2016 / 8:50 am

    But this blog is the very best otter instagram Russian lit chat room.

    I have never looked at search term stats, maybe I should?

    Like

    • hellomylivia 06/28/2016 / 8:52 am

      I’m glad I’ve cornered the Russian otter niche, it’s definitely what I was going for!
      Look at your own risk. Godspeed.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Amanda C 06/28/2016 / 11:08 am

    I’ve done posts on my search terms a few times, they’re always hilarious! People search for the weirdest shit.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Stacie Seidman 06/28/2016 / 11:24 am

    Ha! This is great! I wonder if Blogger supplies the same stats… I will have to check it out!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. L. Williams 06/28/2016 / 11:33 am

    I mean I don’t google search for your blog I just click it in feedly so its not me concocting crazy sentences lol

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lauren 06/28/2016 / 11:47 am

    I love perusing these kind of analytics. My blog has brought people looking for making a thong out of horse show ribbons. It should be clear that those people were disappointed.

    Like

    • Heather 06/28/2016 / 3:09 pm

      Next DYI post maybe? Lol

      Like

      • Heather 06/28/2016 / 3:10 pm

        Oh man. DIY. Clearly I’m not crafty

        Like

  6. T. A. Eyo ¥ 06/28/2016 / 11:57 am

    I think one of the best searches I had was from someone (I think it was one person) searching from Bing. They spelled ambitious wrong 3 different times over a course of maybe a month, yet they still landed at my blog. No idea if they were looking for me or not, but it gave me a chuckle.

    Like

  7. Micaylah 06/28/2016 / 12:25 pm

    I haven’t had any too fun searches, but my favorite is “why do dressage riders always get tiaras?”

    Like

  8. Heather 06/28/2016 / 3:11 pm

    These are fantastic. My search terms aren’t nearly as fun. I have to admit, I was bummed there weren’t more otters with pit stains reading russian lit, but this is a good substitute.

    Like

    • hellomylivia 06/29/2016 / 7:41 am

      Pretty sure this blog would go viral IMMEDIATELY if I featured more pit-stained otters reading Dostoyevsky, and I’m just not prepared to handle that much traffic

      Like

  9. Lindsey 06/29/2016 / 7:51 am

    Too funny! People of the Internet are endlessly entertaining!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. nbohl 07/05/2016 / 1:51 pm

    This is hilarious! I’ve never looked at my search terms

    Like

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